As Mother’s Day comes around again it gets me thinking about what it is to be a mother and why everyone differs so much in their approach to this role.
To me, being a mother is now my number one priority. How can it not be? How can you choose to give birth (in whatever way you managed so amazingly) and not take that little person to be yours and it be your goal in life to make them healthy and happy?
What I have realised is that the happy part of your child’s life should always be your responsibility. However, the healthy aspect sometimes gets taken out of your hands and you have to find another way around trying to better that for your child.
I get perplexed when people do not support their children – of any age – remember they NEVER stop being YOUR child. They should always be your number one, no matter how your life evolves and what choices they make in life. You cannot choose the course of your child’s life, but just be thankful that you know your child will grow up and grow old; some of us don’t have that luxury.
Don’t throw it away.
My mother is the epitome of this role.
My mum is my rock, I’ve not been shy to say that. I would hope that if Phoebe ever had to struggle through a life changer like me, that I would be there for her day and night too.
Mum was the one I would snap at, argue with, vent my anger on (I could go on) in the first year of William’s diagnosis. It’s called the ‘grieving year’ for a reason. I often tried to hide emotions in from the public, but when I saw my mum, had a cuddle and smelt her smell (we all remember our mum’s smell from when we were little and needed that cuddle – well that smell never goes) my emotions could never be controlled. Often it was crying but also much anger. I hated everyone with children of William’s age, living their lives oblivious to how lucky they were. I hated that no one knew how deeply sad I was. I took it out on my mum so often, but she always stood by me and was there for me. The moment that sticks in my head, and I remind myself of quite often, was when I yelled “You don’t know what I’m going through it’s not your son” to which my mum replied “No, but you are MY daughter”. Well, that was it, I understood, just how upset she was not just for William, but for ME as her daughter.
A real turning point.
Don’t loose sight of just how important your role as a mother is. Whether it’s the day to day mundane school journeys, packed lunch, swimming lessons….(I could go on) or the more trivial side of calming their emotions, your role as a mother is number 1.
Just remember, no matter how old your child gets, they will always remember that cuddle and your smell, trust me.
Happy Mothers Day to every type of mother out there who is putting their little (of big) children first. You deserve today, so enjoy it!
3 thoughts on “A mother”
Well Jo – that post made me cry (not for the first time). So honestly written. I’ve always thought of you when looking at my children and 7 granddaughters – there but for the grace etc. But this time I cried for myself just on mother’s day because I never had the luxury of a mother I could turn to or have a cuddle from. Many is the time I longed for that. So this time you are the lucky one. And my thoughts go to your mother too and how she must be feeling. Take care Jo and love and total respect to you mum. X
Thank you for your kind words Marilyn. I hope your children and grandchildren showered you with cuddles today x