Realisation that the differences were huge all along

It has only just hit me the enormity of quite how different William was growing up from 6mths – 3years. We were always told ‘boys are lazy’, ‘he’ll catch up’, ‘all children are different’. However I do wander if deep down I knew he was more than different. The simplest things he couldn’t do – so I’d cover it by either carrying him, giving him a ‘g’ up, or just not attending certain things (soft play for one)!

Nothing on his lower half was natural, it was all so hard for him – we now know why.

Since Phoebe has been walking, then running and now jumping at only 21months I see those differences I so wanted to hide in William. She finds everything so natural, so simple and progression seems to develop every day. This also seems to make her character evolve with the confidence she shows in her physical development. We attend Tumble Tots and she just flows through the obstacles, the climbing, the jumping. I took William when he was 2.5 and he couldn’t do any of what she already does!

Soft play is my place of doom. With both children I cannot cope – something I never would like to say as a mother. One child (Phoebe) runs off and is crazy, the other (my boy) cannot run off, but also cannot climb with the big boys (his friends) so I have to be there to help him whilst trying to keep an eye on Phoebe. It’s not the relaxing cup of coffee like other friends have, it’s the most heartbreaking time of my life. This also includes soft play parties – it just highlights to me my boys weaknesses against his peers.

I cry at each one so now I’m afraid I’ve vowed to never go to one again. Some things I just can’t handle. The enormity of the difference is that I take Phoebe while William is at school – and we have a lovely time.

Do I feel guilty that I can’t cope taking him? Yes, yes I really do. 

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